I still remember the first time I met him, first at Graduan fair, KLCC back in 2013. That was when I was 21years old. Looking from a far, hearing his speech on that stage, when he was 24years old, was amazing. I literally felt the aspiration from knowing him, totally understood a person who come from a small village, building himself up to where he is now require tons of hard work, sacrifices, bloods and tears. But like he said, I was on the other side, where I could only see the greener views of him. Little do I know his struggle. We had fun, we watch movies together, went to concert and, met him at Melbourne.
Fast forward to today, he is still the same innocent kind guy. Maybe because I know him personally and never actually work with him. I could see how he is a good friend. We had fun, we laughed a lot that night on a simple dinner, ghost movie we both enjoyed and a cup of ice cream. We catch up with each other life. And I wish him all the best for his GMAT, US dream.
The question come back to me, what is my future plan.
I have no idea. Back then when I was married, all my dream crash. And to be honest, I’m scared of getting married in future. What if I lose myself. What if I care for the other person too much that I could lose myself. I have learned in a hard way, to hold on my dreams. He asked me, why don’t I try to go to UK. You dont need a UK degree, all you need is work experienced, and determination, of course to first complete my ACCA. I almost lose hope with my ACCA study. I failed twice. I almost pass, with a minimum 7marks. But I didn’t make it. Wasted a year of life, with no accomplishment. It feel sucks.
I boldly asked him out again, because I needed someone to talk about my future plan. Someone who would actually advice me. And he said, if I still have my momentum, I should get going. I need to get my life back. I’m only 26years young, and dreams doesn’t count your age. It is best that I ended this marriage early, knowing that it didn’t get me anywhere.
Tear apart with my ambition, to continue with Big4, this time as a consultant. Another dream of mine, other than being an auditor. And today, I received the interview from government to be an accountant. Strange, it is something everyone look forward to. But not me. I would do my best, and hope that Allah show me the right way.
Another piece of puzzle in life, unsolved.