Until the end of life

Very less people know me. Or should I put it in words, I barely even know myself. My brain work the other way around. If you would read A,B,C to Z in sequence.. I would read it A,Z,B,Y.. and the sequence goes on.

I hardly remember moment, and I hardly remember the little things. But mind you, I do remember almost of the details, but may not be in order. I sense more empathy, compassion, and loved to other people, tho scientifically measured as having low social context in my surrounding environment.

I think deeply, and I think through out my life. But often, I get lose in my own thinking. About what is right, and what to do..

I tend to be alone, and I love my own company. opening up to people frightened me. Hence,I rarely share my sorrow and my sadness. Yes, I wanted to. But I’m scared of being judge. Scared that people might talk bad of my hardship, scared that people might use my hard life to use it against me.

There’s just too many baggage in my life at the age of 25 years old. And I woke up everyday dealing and fighting with my own demon. Truth is, I got tired everynight, and cried to sleep.

When will my life will end? I only wish to see my God, my Almighty God who is capable to take all my miserable life away. Allah.

Sinful servant.


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