2016 a few steps more

I am writing this with a hole in my heart. Pain, suffering, disappointment. Clueless. No words could describe what I feel now. I try to talk to my bestfriends. Realizing the fact that I am loosing the best Nur Azlila in this year.

Since when do I overthink and stop doing what I love? Since when do I hold myself back and hurting myself? Since when? it is sad tho to look at my condition now. To see how I live my life now. lack with emotion, and motivation. unsettle problems. Too much of heartbreaks.

Ila, you are stronger than this before. You had your heartbroken many times. You got hurt. You feel this before. Why can’t you get up and live a little bit more. Show your better side. be a better you. wake up with a smile. hug yourself every now and then. You deserve better ila. Always.

So please. hold on to yourself. Love yourself a little bit more. Sabar ila. Why are you being like this? Is it so painful? Is it?

Ya Allah, kuatkan lah hati ini. Tunjukkan kebenaran. Berikan ketenangan. Berikan sabar seindah indah kesabaran. Ya Allah.