Today is Sunday. A warm, worries free and my family is around. It is always better to be home. Life is chill and slow. The pace of life, starting to catch up with me. I couldn’t find it anywhere else.
Bringing my little sister out. Packing my cloth to go back to the city. It makes me wonder, if today will be the last day I’m at home. The room, where I study to get straight A’s. The same old bed. Looking at my dad, my mum, my siblings. All five of us, but the house is still too quiet.
How should I live, to be where I’m supposed to be now, without all of them.
Without their loves, their blessing, their existence.
Love always in memories,
Went out with my bff today. to service my car. long story short,
on the way home, i was thinking if it was just me.
I love being alone, solitude as you may called. The art of living freely, changing your state of mind, manipulating your own self without having to think of the consequences for the people around you.
I don’t think my family know me as well. I started to think that there are many things that hide from everyone, or should I say, personality. Thinking of it, even my bestfriend, don’t know everything about me.
Its me. Listen here. I just knew about this. About your personality. Yeah, all this you thought it was normal. But it was not. It gets harder as you grow up. As many people trying to get to your life.
You need to be strong. Your future husband is there. Stop hurting him, stop hurting yourself.
Learn. Learn to accept the present. Learn to smile, to laugh, to be your cheerful self around him. Open yourself up. He’s not gonna hurt you, he won’t hurt you, he wont. Trust me.
Please trust me for once, he won’t hurt you.
Hold on to him. Soon.
17 December 2016
I am lost in present. I need help.
I need help.
I need help.