Deep inside, a whispering heard, I want to change. Of all the sins and mistake I have made while I was away from HIM. I regret it now. I tried to surround myself with friends, those who was there before. But they are not always available to remind me. Maybe I was too. I was busy with life, captured in sins and terrible acts. But I wanted to change. Really.
Going through changing phase with a broken hearted and a body, a soul full with sins is tough. Much tougher, is going through it alone. Wallahi, there is no one could understand me right now. Except Allah, He who knows.
I haven’t eat for few days. I don’t feel hungry, to be honest. I kept remembering of the day, scared if Allah to test me with the consequences of my act. I pray for Allah to give me strength, when I needed it the most.
As a human, terrible things happen, we never stop sinning, and Allah never stop forgiving. So repent. And seek for Him.
Be strong dear heart, I’m sorry I was misguided. But sorry is not for you, it’s for self, and seek apologize for harming yourself.