Life have changed me. To be hard, cold yet soft inside. To be matured, and to be someone who survive through every worst moment that could ever happen. You learnt it in the hard way. Last year, at this exact moment, I choose the hard way. Waking up alone, rushing to work, working til midnight, going home fully exhausted, only to have meggi at home for dinner. And the day goes on that way for months. It teaches me, to prioritize my money, my time, my energy and my emotion.
Today, I saw the same girl. Innocent, clueless, and in her own comfort zone shell. Everyone hated her, like how everyone hated me before. Everyone criticize her, like how everyone criticize me before. And I took the step, to ask for the people around to advice her, to open up a table and discuss this with her. Only to know their respond….
“Why should I? She is older than me, what right do I have to advice someone like her?”
“She is the same age as me, she should have some common sense. She could think it on her own”
“Even if I said something, she won’t take it seriously and continue living her life that way. Let her learn it the hard way. Beside, she is not that important to me, that I should invest my time to advice her. Who is she anyway”
Blunt? Rude? Disappointed?
Honestly, the first thing that came up to my mind was. How lucky am I, for all this time, I have someone I can turn to, asked for advice too, someone and everyone who would care about me, and be there to correct my mistake, or to simply tell me, how it should be in the right way. Also, tho I make mistake and wrongdoing, I kept reflecting back and have a deep thought about it. And that is how 22 years old of me live today.
To Dalilah, I was exactly like you when I was 18/19 years old. Things are hard to understand, you are just being yourself. And there is nothing wrong with it. But maybe, the fact that you are 26yo, and you have never been out there, meeting people and letting yourself hurt so badly that you have no choice but to be strong and stand on your own two feet, maybe, one day.. I pray that you will taste the bitter of life in the most beautifully painful way.
That hurtful and bittersweet memories in life have taught me well. And today, I can even handle people from ASEAN, handled meeting with CEO and CFO, be a good friend with my seniors and most importantly, having best friends everywhere in ASEAN.
I wish I could advice you, but, something are better learn by yourself. although it is painful, I hope you have the strength to keep going with life, and achieve your dream.
To the better me, because I deserve to be here.
*Farewell party at Bandung 18,19 September – some best moment in life happen when you least expecting it-*