Of Gratitude And Smile

8 weeks left before my degree study finish. Lately, I have been looking into life is such a difficult way instead of giving the right gratitude and appreciation on my achievement to date.

Days ago, I have made a major throwback in my twitter simply to boost and recalled every pleasure life have given me.

Throwing back with pictures and memories as I do some cleaning in my Instagram too.

This goes to all my beloved friends and every person who have been there to make such memorable memories in my life.


There is too much to be thankful for, and here is a list on the latest achievement I have made (Alhamdulillah, couldn’t make this without The Greatest help)

1) Signing day happening for The Malaysia Professional Accountancy Centre Scholarship Agreement on 25th April 2015. Contract bonded for my ACCA local studies with guidance and classes (Yeay! I made it with super hard test and my english suckalot, but nevermind that *lol) 🙂

2) My first ILM Tour To The East 2015 with Yasmin Mogahed #reclaimyourheart – fully sponsored by my other blood sister (May Allah bless you, dear)

3) Receiving AlMaghrib Institute General Scholarship Award for ILMFest 2015 – Signed and bonded. To be attending two days of international speakers in islamic conferences. May Allah ease 🙂

4) Invitation for Eligible Bachelors Party – which I probably declined since I have changed and may not attending any party by all means, InsyaAllah.

5) Job interview from worldwide technocount (a job hunter aka agent) which at the end, they reserved my name under career house with a reason of over qualified (gosh, I didn’t know you can reject people that way!)

6) Meeting a long-lost friend on this coming beautiful day. She’s a beautiful tough young lady who survived hardship and a kind friend ever since I’m in highschool. May Allah protect her in any way possible 🙂

7) Workloads and school have been great. I’m still trying to catch up with assignments and all, every progress and studies Alhamdulillah is doing pretty well. I pray for flying colours on my final semester here, InsyaAllah.

0f43e8b38146308570b48bc5bf65bb4bSurah Al-‘Ankabut (QS 29 : 2)

“Do people think that they will be let go merely by saying: “We believe,” and that they will not be tested,”

Tafsir from Ibn Katsir.

Struggling to be a better person day by day.

Let there be hope for every soul, there is nothing sweeter than turning back to Him, your Creator.

Aila M

Que Sera, Sera

UK? United Kingdom? London? Manchester? Birmingham?

Satu angan-angan yang aku lepaskan. Pedih. Mungkin perancangan dan takdir ALLAH itu lebih baik. Tawakkal.
‘Dan mungkin kamu suka akan sesuatu tetapi ia buruk untuk mu, dan mungkin kamu membenci sesuatu sedangkan ia baik untuk kamu. Kamu tidak mengetahui sedang Allah yang Maha Mengetahui’

Percaya janji Allah?

Mekah. Masih segar dalam ingatan pada hari aku menghantar sahabat untuk menunaikan umrah. Pada saat itu, hatiku tergerak, dan bila tiba masa aku?

Pertanyaan demi pertanyaan. Perancangan demi perancangan.

Mungkin bukan pada waktu terdekat. Mengerjakan umrah ini satu ibadah yang memerlukan muhrim lelaki, dan untuk masa ini, keadaan tidak mengizinkan.

Lalu aku termenung sendirian. Benarlah. Rezeki itu ditangan tuhan. Telah ditetapkan oleh Allah.

‘What is meant for u will reach you even if it beneath two mountains.
What isn’t meant for u wont reach you even if it is between your two lips’


Be strong dear self. Struggling in practicing sabr.

Ask for Allah helps. Indeed, Allah helps is near. 

A Message from a Fallen Angel

Empat tahun aku meniti kehidupan bergelar seorang mahasiswi, hari pertama aku menjejakkan kaki kedalam kampus, aku hanyut dengan duniawi dan segala yang kotaraya tawarkan kepada aku. Kehidupan bebas tanpa kawalan.

Hingga satu hari, dengan izin Allah, aku dipertemukan dengan seorang insan yang tingkah lakunya sangat berbeza dengan aku.

‘Awak, dalam hidup saya,perhubungan antara insan, ada dua sahaja, antara kawan dan kahwin. Untuk masa ini, saya tak bersedia untuk berkahwin’

Aku buntu. Selama empat tahun aku melihat insan disekeliling aku bercouple, berdating, bercinta, bertelefon bagai tiada apa yg salah. Aku mati akal! Kau kata kau sayang! Kenapa kita hanya berkawan?

Dan hari terakhir sebelum dia pergi kembali ke universitinya di tanah eropah, dia menghulurkan sebuah Quran sekembalinya dia dari Mekah. ‘Iqra, bacalah. Dengan nama Tuhan Mu yang menciptakan. Semoga awak faham kenapa saya begini.’

Dan telah cukup 60 hari dia pergi, aku disini, masih dengan pakaian jahiliah, mengusung buku-buku Islam, membaca tafsir, bertatih mencari tuhan. Ya Allah, saat sahabat ku menghafaz ayat-ayat suci mu, aku masih mencari makna ayat mu. Saat mereka bersyahadah dengan merdu dan lunak, aku mencari kalimah indahmu untuk mendamping hari-hari singkat didunia yang sementara.


Note : This is a real story written. I pray for all my friends, and ummah to find the meaning of your life. It may takes time, as for me, it took me 23 years to realize the purpose of my life. No matter where on life you are today, in the depth of sins, or drowning in life matter or struggle to perfecting your ibadah, I pray for you to find the straight path, and may you be granted jannah for your effort, Insya Allah. Jzk.

The Unspoken Words

Walking under the bright sun. Small eyes, sweated shirt, heavy bags, another forced step.

It is 1st April, when I drive back to college with tears and burst of everything I have been holding back. The words, I have finally heard about it, the truth, which I can never go back and live in my comfort zone back in hometown. How does it feel? Of all my dreams to further my study overseas and get a job and create my own terrible sweet life? What is more saddening is, I had to shut my self from the world, from the harsh world after what happen recently.

life has taught me in it’s own way, to never depend on anyone, to never get close or to open to anyone, nor to have any attachment as it will only ruin my life. It does feel good for once, but the consequences after sharing memories is too much to bear.

I am learning to hold my responsibility in my own way. There is just too much, shall i call it a burden?

And everyday as I wake up, I wish for the time to rewind, or fast forward. because the day, the time I lived now is too hurtful. Living in this temporary world, I wish I have the time to know my Creator, to have time to find my purpose of living, to worship Him. But do I?

Life and it’s hurtful way of living.

Words unspoken.