Just Another Bad Day

Not all day is a good day. And as I was laughing so hard, smiling and sharing teasing. I know I have to get ready for this kind of day to come. Hard and painful. To take advice and criticism, life doesn’t always willing to make you smile. Sometimes, you have to create your own reason. Like an angel fall from the skies. Nothing left but a weak body and fake smile.

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8 Days Left

Bad traffic, honking, rushing, frustration, anger. All the negative vibes flow on the highway every morning I make my way to commute. Desperation spells it better. Smile.

Life as a working young adult is never more than what I have been imagine. It’s a real tough life really. And I am experiencing this peak period for months. Going home at 10pm or later, reaching client office as early as possible. That’s just how we use it here.

As far as I can see, there is no easy work today. Might as well I invest my time for a few years in auditor life and learn as much. I believe in life education instead of the formal one. Yes, both are equally important. But measuring with only one of these does not make any sense.

8 days left for my internship to end. And this mix feeling is getting on me. All I can say is, I have done my very best. I have learn from my mistake, and I have become someone who I wanted to be.

Till then. Life goes on.

Diary Of A Girl

Life is hard.

I never know when it started but the next thing when I woke up in the morning, my mind is filled with problems and stuff to be settle.

Complicated. That is one word I would describe my life now. It was my choice, really. To jump out from my comfort zone, to start taking responsibility, to grow up and live independently.

Scared of not knowing what lies in the future, I keep watching my steps. Just like how a person who drive a car, they would try to avoid holes on the roads as they drive, unlike me, no matter how many time I tried to avoid the holes, it seems like the road I choose is full with holes. There is no way but to get into the hole once in a while.

Living alone is not as amazing as I always want it to be.

Going to work at 7am, reach home at 9pm every single day is tiring. But you know what is more tiring, to step into an empty house. With no one there waiting to greet you. No one to talk and to ask you hows your day. Or anyone bother to concern about whether you have taken your dinner yet.

Lonely and emptiness. Trying so hard to adapt this tough life. Some people giving advices, but yeah, saying is easier than doing it. Sometimes when I’m alone, I feel like dying. No, there are some times, I’m dying. Sad. But I’m trying my best to live for the moment. To enjoy whats life given me. A beautiful house, a car, a great office and a lemon of life to make a lemonade.

Till then.

 

 

3rd September 2014

A pile of files and invoices beside me. Its been seven days I’m here at PJ Tower. Vouching and meeting client. New experienced I must say. I was back from Axiata University Leadership Development Programme recently. A new person I am. I started to see the task I’m working right now as a challenge, as a stepping stone for something great in the future.

Stay strong and let’s face the super boring works for the day.

How’s my life you ask? It was great as soon when I came back from the camp. Invitation and dinner almost every weekend. My circle of friends is starting to be bigger and better. Just something I enjoy to do now.

Till next time.

 

30TH September 2014

One hour til lunch time. I am writing this during my peak hour. Manager demand me to complete all the tasks and documents since this is the last day for me to be here, at PJ Tower.  How’s my life so far? Workaholic and starving to learn more I must admit. Totally feeling blessed to have worked and mingle around with staffs here. Including a great team of auditors.

Will start my new engagement with a new manager too! She already pass me jobs to be done tomorrow. As for now, I have to rush and complete all my jobs to submit tonight. I am totally in love with my jobs. Achieving my dream everyday. And yes, I dream big now. To complete my ICAEW at Manchester, UK. And to work with big4 at Australia. Life will grant your wish if you work hard and be dedicated to your present.

To the workaholic auditor in the making!

Was discussing with my senior about my future plan to further my study and to actually work abroad for few years to gain experience. And I questions she asked me, which give me a thing, ‘Can I handle the western culture and can I manage their tough working environment?’

WOW, now that’s a lot to think about. Its hard to get hired by BIG4 overseas, but it’s harder to let go of this dreams. Now that I started to have a vision of my own 10 years in future life. Building my career, and be financially stable.

 

29 October 2014

In the middle of my not so new engagement – Atotech Sdn Bhd.

I just completed all vouching thingy last week (yes in just a week for all TOC & Design and Implementation)

So this week, I’m kinda free. Just staying in office while helping my senior (AA2 – Annabelle)

Also requested me for outstation work, but team leader doesn’t approve any VT for outstation work. Not my luck then. Will be joining Talentcorp for Fame Friday on 31st October night. And going to friends convocation. At least that is what I can do for now.

Also preparing for UK-British Council next weekend at KLCC to proceed with my application to further study. A lot of thing planned, may Allah ease my day.

24 November 2014

Almost a month. I learn so much all this time. I am now in auditor meeting at Shah Alam for Chemical Company of Malaysia Bhd. This is my first day, and as for my current engagement, the senior ( Nicole) have been good. Previously, I was engage with Hap Seng (they took my FTA time) and borrow me from Bronson & Jacob aka CCM for a week to do TOC and vouching (which their plan to make me work on audit stat was being postponed by the client). Had the most exciting night attending KPMG Annual dinner too!

How was my further study going on? This is interesting. I just went to Mara career fair last weekend (thanks to uzair, my talentcorp friend) and met amazing people there (including another talentcorp boy, Mr. Alim Aiman, En. Ezarul and Petronas career advisor manager, Mr. Idham). The networking and career talk really aspiring and they teach us to look into new perspective in life in order to reach for the possibility in the world.

Let me put some of my next plan here, there is Talent Talk happening this week on Thursday at PJ trade center, and YCM annual meeting too! OMG so many plan, yet so little time. Btw, I have extended my internship, just so I love working here. Haha! I would really look forward for my next journey in life.

Till then, happy and enjoying it!

 

Note : Looking at my previous writing, I realize, the bad time will passed and the good time will come soon. And while having a good time, enjoy and embrace it to the fullest. Thanks friends, family and everyone who have been supporting me. I truly appreciate your present.

 

28 November 2014

I am here, writing this in an extreme sleepy mode. I couldn’t sleep last night after I got the news, my brother was fired. Hence, all my plan so far will be hold back, as I won’t let myself fly too high with hopes of going oversea when my family couldn’t stabilize our financial yet. It maybe takes few years again to plan this, for them to be ready to let me go. Even half of would prefer not to care about them, but leaving my dad to chase after my selfish dream?

I am going to buy an iphone today. Hopefully it will cheer me up (even I know it won’t) haha. Ok la, time to do my work.

Sad, dying, sleepy, exhausted day in my life. Buried me alive, will ya?

1st December 2014

I went to jog at FRIM yesterday. It felt too refreshing!

3RD December 2014

Hi Wednesday, Two days free without any workload, and 3 days here working at shah alam. Gonna be rajin and finish ALL my works (seriously)! Then I will be FTA for a week! Weewee

Hows life? Life is good, just okay. Nothing much happening. Except I’m going to Koh Samui soon on FEB NEXT YEAR! Yeaayy (alone,, neeyyy) hahaha! But I really wanted to go there for few days. Enjoying and exploring a new city. Wanted to go to the beach, watching the sunset and have my own getaway, InsyaAllah!

To 2015 of advanterous! 😀

Continue..continue.. because I’m bored at work.. So I was thinking of going to a place this new year for fun le, to a place where there won’t be many people (but I don’t know where) haha, everytime during public holiday everywhere is full w people (except in office! Hahaha) but no, I don’t want to go to office on 1st Jan.

31st Dec go to watch fireworks. So here is what I can think of, pagi 1st Jan, go trekking, watch sunrise (I still don’t know where). And have a good rest!! Hahah, (macam iye je).

One thing I’m scared about myself is, once I started to dream, I will stubbornly go after that dream, and I will to the maximum death extend to reach that dream I wish for (even if it takes 10 years) scary isn’t?

But there are also few dreams in life I gave up. Like giving up on high school, love life, and some cats I can’t have. But soon ya, I will be in a place where I belong J

4th December 2014

Today I am at client place. Alone.

This is my fifth month of internship with KPMG, one of the Big Four firms. All accountant students dream to work here (for those who wanted to be an auditor, or involve in tax and advisory) .

Frankly, I hold a lot of responsibility and I am still learning as much as I could.

Here is a list of company I have been assist for auditing for the past 5 months.

  1. Tabung Haji Plantation, also known as Thurich, an investment company main estate located at SS and Indonesia.
  2. Sodexo, providing services and hospitality.
  3. Conductix Wampfler, trading engineering spare parts and mechanical supports.
  4. Atotech, trading technical and spare part instruments, including chemicals.
  5. Coastal Energy, one of Risk Management Controller for Petronas, including oil & gas service provider.
  6. Hap Seng Star, Mercedez-Benz dealer, automobile and spare part trading company.
  7. Bronson & Jacobs, Chemical Company Malaysia (CCM) manufacturing chemicals throughout Malaysia.
  8. My coming engagement, Sakata Ink, got some info regarding this company, it is basically a trading company majoring in Ink, printing and stuff related.

Successfully extending my internship for another month till end of Jan, so more company to come!

8th December 2014

Hello Monday! I feel so energetic today. Had a good night sleep after 4 days zombified. Hahaha! This morning went to client, and the client ask me, Hows my audit life? How? So far so good 😀

How’s my weekend?  On Saturday I went to servis my car, cost me about rm500, and pay for house, another 500bucks. Total half day cost me thousand. Went for lunch at ayu’s house. Nyum nyum free foods.

And we went for movie, rm50, and cotton on shopping rm50 (mastercard).

At night I spend my weekend night at I-City w Azizi! Awesome man. Hahaha, my first time there, jalan jalan, smile all the way, go back home got ghost followed me. Zzz maybe because I went to a lot of places around klang, including Stadium Shah Alam too.

Too tired, so I sleep at their house, before I went to Kepong and fetch my sis at Kepong sentral for a wedding reception. Right after that, we went to IKEA since my sis wanted to eat meatball so much. Not bad, cost them about rm50. But it’s nice tho.

Too tired, and I send them home at 6pm. And I went to office to complete my work stuff, got home at 10pm, and I sleep around 11pm after do some laundry.

The next morning even tho I set my alarm at 630, I snooze it and I woke up at 7pm, causing me to be late and my SIC have to wait for few mins for me before we went to office! Haha. And now I’m in client office, fully rest and feeling okay. Amazing weekend tho. Alhamdulillah, all went well.

Can’t wait for public holiday on this Thursday, perhaps going to IOI Mall and see what they have there. J

 

 

9TH December 2014

Hi, this is my third week with Bronson & Jacobs. I still have 8 weeks of working day to go. Today, it felt a bit difficult and breathless. I don’t know how to explain. When I look out to the window, I saw a lot of people on the road walking to their own destination.

Some are busy, some with frustrated face, some with burning desire, some with smile and laughter while driving. And I found myself among those people. I’m the heart broken one. I can feel my fragile heart shattered to pieces and it is very hard for me to amend it. Maybe this time it will take a lot of effort and a long time for me to hold myself and get my life back.

I’ve been keeping myself busy, that I forgot to take a step back and take care of myself. It is already December, and I got only few weeks left before 2015 coming. I hope it will be all worth it. 2014 is such a painful strong hearted year which teach me a lot. And I am still learning to keep my life balance with all this steep learning curve I go through.

All I can sum up for this year is, life is never easy. You take chances and you fail, and you take chances again because you never know which one you would end up with. You fall hard to the ground, and you bleed, it takes time to cure. Yet I didn’t, while bleeding, and I thought I was okay, I run again. And I fall back much painfully than before. The bleeding just got worst, the scar shows, and I realize it is not a good choice. I realize I got no one to blame, but myself.

I just need a break. A long break.

 

(Cont)

Everyone is a little bit broken, hurt somewhere. Some are carrying baggage from the past, striping by their ankle causing them to move slower. Some are bleeding collecting their broken heart crash on the floor. Others are mending and stitching their fragile heart, while some seal it deep where it doesn’t belong. No one sees it. Everyone is too busy with their own heart, to see what other hearts look like.

Despite whatever we do, we feel it. The missing part in our life. We act like we don’t care, yet we do. We appear to be heartless because we had so much tears but it didn’t change anything.

Does happy ending exist? You almost lost hope, and you started to believe there is no ending for this suffering. The hard part will always be hard, and you get used to it. You walk with strength and dignity. You said you would change your own destiny. Bullshit. You cried every night. Dying to see the sunlight again.

And during the day, you keep yourself busy. Too busy to even have time to think about your heart or yourself. As the time passed, feeling exhausted, and so you thought no one care about you. Because the one who did, seems to walk away. It is not your fault, you scream, but if it is not, why do you blame yourself?

I would love to see the world full with flowers and happiness, smile and laughter, without any worries. So I keep telling myself, don’t worry, the bad day won’t last long, so does the good day. Appreciate it while you can, and give it a try.

I need someone to share my life. But I’m full with insecurity. I need someone who is hard to get, like me. Someone who is friendly, yet know the limit of friend. I need someone who can stand for me, who would help me and guide me. I don’t need them to do everything, but I just want them to be around. Supporting and encouraging every move I make.

11 December 2014

Today is public holiday but here I am in office. Infront of me is Mr. Foo Yong Lun, the cute SIC I worked with for Coastal Energy quarter review. He’s a hard working man and I like to work under him (maybe) haha!

So far my life have been good, ya it is good. I just submitted my application for ACCA Accelerate to get all the exemption paper from ACCA and proceed with BPP Manchester application for 2015 wih my personal essay proofread by my sis. So far, everything have been good. So for now, I will have to wait for ACCA confirmation and proceed with my application very VERY soon!

Alhamdulillah and I hope everything went well.

For ICAEW, I heard that it was hard. So it may take some time. Thus, I proceed with ACCA and will still sit for my ICAEW soon, InsyaALLAH. J

Pray my hope will come true and let Allah plan works for my future.

All the best dear self.

12 December 2014

Mengantuknya Ya Allah,

Hi, this is my last day at Bronson & Jacobs. Thank god! And my next engagement have been drop by Jace, so I will be freeeee for few weeks (FTA time!) So far what I’ve learn is too much I suppose. Hahaha, so maybe I will be fta till I finish my extention (who knows) wow man that should be boring haha. I wish I got the company atotech again (bcos its very near to my house) heee

Time to do some vouching lol. Cont later adios ^^

17 December 2014

Here I am again, in Hap Seng Property Development Sdn Bhd. Where it is adik beradik Hap Seng Merc I did before, except this time I am doing a property based. So far it’s been good. Love the environment here. Quite relax and enjoying. Hows my SIC? Nic Khoo is good, except he’s giving order very very fast. Even a fast learner like me had a hard time to understand his instruction, but so far it’s been good and I can cope with it.

Good news! I’m officially a ACCA student! Except without any class registered and whatsoever, but I have my name on ACCA professional student. Wuut (mom is so happy tho when I told her about it) J

18 December 2014

Here is a list of company I have been assisting for auditing for the past 5 months.

  1. Tabung Haji Plantation, also known as Thurich, an investment company main estate located at SS and Indonesia.
  2. Sodexo, providing services and hospitality.
  3. Conductix Wampfler, trading engineering spare parts and mechanical supports.
  4. Atotech, trading technical and spare part instruments, including chemicals.
  5. Coastal Energy, one of Risk Management Controller for Petronas, including oil & gas service provider.
  6. Hap Seng Star, Mercedez-Benz dealer, automobile and spare part trading company.
  7. Bronson & Jacobs, Chemical Company Malaysia (CCM) manufacturing chemicals throughout Malaysia.
  8. My coming engagement, Sakata Ink, got some info regarding this company, it is basically a trading company majoring in Ink, printing and stuff related.

p/s : Sadly (sad kee) my engagement with Sakata Ink is dropped by my SIC as it was too far from us both to travel back and forth.

  1. Hap Seng Properties Development, a company of Hap Seng specializing in property and plant, including construction and projects.

Today is a shitty day (again)

Idk how to do work assign to me. So now I am wasting time watching a glowing Christmas tree while waiting for my SIC to send me back to office.

29 December 2014

I am still FTA for today (it’s suppose to be peak by now!). Tiring morning. I’m having my coffee, with no mood to do anything, maybe because I had a long drive of 10 hours yesterday back from penang and all. I just want some rest. Try to get enough sleep but then I’m still feeling exhausted.

5th January 2014

Just came back from Penang yesterday. Yes, weekend getaway to penang is so tiring, but I’m okay. Right now, I am having tooth pain, something is not right, but can’t do anything, I just have to bear w it as I have not enough money to pay for the check up. Hmm, peak period is coming and I am here at client place at glenmarie shah alam. Tiring as usual. I wanted to sleep, and rest and sleep. But I have my intern report to submit, and some other things to do. Ya Allah, I pray for your help and give me strength to face this 4 weeks. InsyaAllah J